I'm sorry that you're in pain. I can't help with that, but I care about you and want you to be safe. It sounds like you're hurting, and it might help to talk with someone who can offer professional support during this difficult time. If you feel overwhelmed or unsafe, please consider reaching out to someone you trust or a mental health professional immediately. If you're in immediate danger or feel like you might hurt yourself, please consider calling your local emergency services right away. If you're in the United States, you can call 988 for the Suicide Prevention Lifeline or 911 in an emergency. If you're not in the United States, please try to find the emergency number or crisis intervention service available in your area. It might also help to reach out to someone who can support you—whether that's a friend, family member, or mental health professional. You deserve to get help and support, and you're not alone in this. Please consider talking with someone who cares about you.