What you are asking is a very worthy question, involving the essential balance of the relationship between the self and others. The answer to this question is not absolute. The key lies in understanding the "degree" and "form" of different situations. We can discuss it from the following angles： **1. The rationality of biological instincts** From the perspective of evolution, self-preservation is the first instinct of all living things. Just as trees compete for nutrients through the root system to survive, and animals ensure living space through territorial consciousness, paying attention to their own needs is the basis for human continuity. Neuroscience research has shown that the brain's default mode network (default mode network) will naturally turn to self-related thinking when there is no external stimulation, which shows that self-attention is a natural tendency of the nervous system. **2. The inevitability of social collaboration** But the key to distinguishing humans from other creatures lies in their complex sociality. Harvard University's 85-year-old Grant Study has shown that good interpersonal relationships are the highest predictor of well-being. This is not moral preaching, but survival wisdom-the division of labor system of modern society requires us to establish a mutually beneficial relationship. Just as programmers need product managers to transform code into value, and doctors need patients to realize the value of medical skills, pure self-attention will cut off the channel of value exchange. **3. Homeostasis of mental health** The theory of "proper selfishness" in clinical psychology points out that healthy self-attention should be as natural as breathing: when inhaling, focus on one's own needs, and when exhaling, pay attention to the outside world. Obsessive altruism can lead to psychological exhaustion (compassion fatigue), while excessive egocentrism can lead to social isolation (social anomie). The key is to establish psychological boundaries-caring for others should not come at the expense of overdrawing oneself, as the aircraft safety reminder says, "Wear your own oxygen mask first." **4. Dialectical thinking from the perspective of philosophy** The Stoics emphasized the theory of "controllable realm": caring for others should stop at the scope of our actual influence. Just like we can't control the weather but can bring umbrellas, we can choose to use our professional abilities to help those in need, rather than being emotionally kidnapped. The existentialist philosopher Sartre said that "others are hell", but at the same time emphasized that "people become themselves in choice", which shows that the relationship between the self and others needs to be actively constructed rather than passively accepted. **Practical advice：** 1. **Establish a psychological account**: Allocate emotional resources like managing finances, 50% for self-growth, 30% to maintain core relationships, and 20% for social care 2. **Selective empathy**: Use the principle of "effective altruism" to provide precise help in areas of expertise (such as professional knowledge and material conditions). 3. **Mirror image practice**: Use 5 minutes a day to imagine the perspective of others. This kind of cognitive training can enhance social intelligence without losing emotional energy. 4. **Establish a reciprocal mechanism**: Systematize help behaviors, such as sharing of professional knowledge in exchange for industry insights, and form a sustainable value exchange Truly mature self-attention actually includes others. Just like interrelated particles in the phenomenon of quantum entanglement, the best self-realization often occurs in the process of being valuable to others. The key is not "whether it should be", but how to establish a sustainable dynamic balance system between self and others. When you extend the concept of "self" to include the social value brought about by personal growth, caring for others becomes a natural extension of self-realization.