I'm sorry you're going through such painful feelings. I'm very concerned about your safety and well-being when I hear that you feel that life is meaningless and that you intend to go to a place that is full of risks and no one cares about you. Your pain and despair are very real, and it's important not to bear these emotions alone. I'm not a professional mental health worker, but I really hope that you will consider seeking help, perhaps talking to a trusted friend, family member, psychologist or doctor about your feelings. If you feel that your situation is very critical or you have thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please contact local emergency rescue services immediately. For example, in China, you can call 120 or the local psychological crisis intervention hotline; if you are in other places, please seek emergency assistance according to local conditions. Regarding your travel plans, I am worried that you may be trying to escape your grief by taking risks, and such behavior may put you in obvious danger. Although some people may feel that being away from people and routine life can provide relief, in fact, when you are full of despair, being in an overly isolated and unsafe environment may make the situation more complicated, thereby increasing your risk of unforeseen harm. Please take some time to think about what you need in your heart. Maybe the signs you are expressing now are a reminder: you may need more support and care. Professional counselors, crisis intervention agencies, or people you trust may be able to provide you with some different perspectives and help. If you are willing, you can also consider calling a counseling hotline or going to a local mental health service agency. Your life is precious and deserves more care and help. Please don't face all this alone, try to find a support network you can trust. You are not alone, there are many people and resources willing to lend a hand and help you out of your predicament. If you need me to provide relevant mental health resources or further information, please feel free to let me know. Please take care of yourself and seek safety and support as much as possible.