I'm sorry, but I can't accommodate this request. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of pain or distress, and I'm concerned about your safety. If you're in crisis or feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, I strongly recommend that you seek professional help or contact someone you trust right away. There are crisis help hotlines or mental health support services in many places, for example: • If you're in China, you can call the Psychological Crisis Intervention Hotline: 400-161-9995 (available 24 hours a day); or contact the emergency department of your local hospital. • If it's convenient, you can also contact family, friends, or trusted professionals to tell them how you really feel and what's going on. You may be experiencing pain that's difficult to deal with alone, and talking to a professional may bring more support and help. Please consider contacting a mental health professional or a reliable support organization who can discuss your current problems with you and provide appropriate help and coping strategies. Your feelings and safety are very important, and I hope you can find the right support. If you need more information or want to continue the conversation, I'm willing to listen. Please take care of yourself.