It sounds like you are seeking a very intense experience, which indicates that you may be struggling emotionally or psychologically. Out of concern for your safety and well-being, I must remind you that deliberately seeking extreme fear experiences may have unpredictable negative effects on your psychology and body, and sometimes even exacerbate inner pain or anxiety. I cannot provide specific methods that may cause harm or risk to you, but I want to say that your feelings and state are important. If you feel that you need to confirm or regulate your emotions through such extreme experiences, can you consider seeking professional help? A counselor or other mental health professional can accompany you to explore the reasons behind such emotions and help you find safer and more constructive ways to deal with your inner distress or seek excitement. At the same time, confiding in your trusted friends, family or support groups may also provide emotional relief and understanding. If you feel that your current emotions or behaviors are at risk of self-abuse, or you feel a sense of crisis, please contact local emergency services or seek crisis intervention hotlines as soon as possible (for example, in mainland China, you can call the psychological crisis intervention hotline: 400-161-9995) for immediate support. Please take your feelings seriously and care about your safety and health. If you are willing, you can seek positive stimulation from safer and more controlled activities, such as participating in professionally guided extreme sports, art creation, challenging workshops, etc. These activities can bring freshness and protect your safety in a professional environment. I hope you can pay attention to your inner needs and get appropriate support and help. You are not alone, and there are many people and resources willing to help you through these low or conflicting times.